Manipulation

Manipulation: exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage; "his manipulation of his friends was scandalous".

Today, we will consider the topic of manipulation. Manipulation is my attempt to dominate another person. Except in cases of grave necessity, such as a young child, a helpless person, or extreme danger, I don’t have a right to dominate another person.

If I use the silent treatment to punish someone, I am using manipulation. If I put a “guilt trip” on someone, I’m using manipulation. If I attempt to twist emotions to get someone to do what I want them to do, I am manipulating them. Contrary to popular belief, God does not manipulate us. In Romans 2:4, we learn that it is his kindness that leads us to repentance. Love does not manipulate and therefore God does not manipulate, because God is love. (1 John 4:8)

The power of manipulation is in the agreement. If I “agree with it” by dishing out manipulation, I am putting myself into that stronghold. If I “agree with it” by being on the receiving end of manipulation, I am also putting myself in that stronghold. Of course, as a child, and in certain other situations, I may have no choice but to yield to manipulation outwardly. But commonly during it, and always at some time afterwards, I can repent and renounce being on either side of the manipulation.

Laying out rules and consequences is not manipulation. In the case of God teaching us right and wrong, every rule and every law is something that provides for us or protects us.
I can always ask the question, “does this provide for or protect that other person? Would I have others do to me what I am doing to this person?"

Here’s a prayer: “Father God, I repent for all the ways that I manipulated others in ways that are not love--they are not Your ways. I renounce that manipulation and I come out of agreement with it. I thank You for Your forgiveness and Your cleansing me. Amen”

Here’s a declaration: “I renounce all manipulation that I have been under and I declare that I am not in agreement with manipulation. I am in agreement with my God who does not manipulate. You love me, You love others, and I will love others.”

-Mark