Grief

On the day after a tight election, when about half the country is grieving that their candidate lost, it might be a good time to talk about the grief process.  Let's consider that the end of the grieving process is getting to a place of peaceful acceptance of the reality that we have lived and experienced. And remember, the most common way that people respond to grief is DENIAL.

So the first part of grieving is the actual loss. This could be a great disappointment or a physical loss or sickness, for you or someone else that you love. It could be a financial loss, job loss, death, or anything else that is significant to you that has been delayed or stopped.  So naturally, the grief is on a continuum from mild to very intense. I think of grief as bitter water that is necessary to drink, but difficult. This is why so many of us want to deny it, or try to leave it behind. But it won't go away until we face it.

So, we begin with the actual event or loss. After the loss we have trigger events that remind us of the loss—let’s say, a green pickup reminds me of my dad who died last month.  When the loss is recent or acute, the trigger events seem to be everywhere.  The trigger events are not your enemy, so please don't avoid them. The trigger events give you a sip of this bitter water that is necessary to drink to get through the grieving. Jesus said, "Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?” in the Garden of Gethsemane (the scene described in John 18:11). Grief is a cup that I must drink, but I can choose how to respond. Concerning death, one of the most difficult cases of loss to reconcile in this life, 1 Thessalonians says that we shouldn’t be ignorant "lest you sorrow as others who have no hope." This doesn’t suggest that mourning isn’t integral. Even Matthew 5:4 says "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."

So after the trigger event reminds me of a loss, I immediately have a primary emotional response which is short but intense.  This is largely involuntary and automatic but it only lasts for a few moments until the fourth or “evaluation stage,” happens.  During the evaluation stage, I'm minimizing, maximizing, or somewhere in the middle. I promise you that the middle ground is the best choice here!

If I minimize, I will deny it, disrespect myself and the integrity needed for this grief and I will stuff it away for later consumption. Unfortunately, leaving it for later is like piling up a debt with interest. It's always more expensive and takes longer to pay off then if I paid for it in its original form. Maximizing, would mean that I tell myself that I can't make it or that it's too much to take or I'm on my own I'm all alone…things like that.

The middle ground looks something like this: Yes, it hurts very much that I've lost this person for this thing. Yes it hurts, it’s okay to cry. Yes it hurts, and Jesus promised "I will not leave you or forsake you" (Joshua 1:5). Yes, Jesus promised that I would be comforted if I mourn (Matthew 5:4). So I should cast my cares on Jesus because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).

If I find the ground of truth in agreement with God in this fourth stage, in the fifth stage, secondary emotional response is improved. I gradually get through that drink of bitter water and move toward peace.

For some, the pipeline for that bitter water is large and it flows quickly and intensely. For others of us, it's smaller and it takes a longer time and more drinks. But remember that we don't "sorrow as others who have no hope." (1 Thess 4:13). We are a "peculiar people....." (1 Peter 2:9)

Crying laughing and grieving are all essential parts of mental health and essential parts of the way that God made us. I pray for blessings in all of your grieving with the knowledge that the comforter is here for you. He said, I will send you “another comforter,” (John 14:16) and He, Himself, is "The God of all comfort......" (2 Cor 1:3).

 

Blessings,

-Mark

Daily Fellowship With God by Andrew Murray

Good day to you friends of Samaritan's Well.  Today, we are presenting a 100 year old teaching from Andrew Murray that is so good that we have brought it to modern day language.  We hope that you enjoy!

Daily Fellowship

By Andrew Murray

1. The first and chief need of our Christian life is, Fellowship with God. The Divine life within us comes from God, and is entirely dependent upon Him. As I need every moment fresh air to breathe, as the sun sends down its light every moment, so it is only in direct living communication with God that my soul can be strong.  The manna of one day was no longer good when the next day came. I must every day have fresh grace from heaven, and I obtain it only in direct waiting upon God Himself. Begin each day by remaining before God, and letting Him touch you. Take time to meet God.

2. To this end, let your first act in your devotion be setting yourself still before God. In prayer, or worship, everything depends on God taking the chief place. I must bow and submit myself quietly before Him in humble faith and adoration, speaking from within my heart: "God is.  God is near. God is love, longing to communicate Himself to me. God the Almighty One, Who works all in all, is even now waiting to work in me, and make Himself known." Take time, until you know that God is very near.

3. When you have given God His place of honor, glory, and power, take your place of deepest lowliness, and seek to be filled with the Spirit of humility. As a creature it is your blessedness to be nothing, that God may be all in you. As a sinner you are not worthy to look up to God; bow in self-abasement. As a saint, let God's love overwhelm you, and bow even lower. Sink down before Him in humility, meekness, patience, and surrender to His goodness and mercy. He will exalt you. Take time, to get very low before God.

4. Then accept and value your place in Christ Jesus. God delights in nothing but His beloved Son, and can be satisfied with nothing else in those who draw near to Him. Enter deep into God's holy presence in the boldness which the blood gives, and in the assurance that in Christ you are the most pleasing to God that you can be. In Christ you are within the veil. You have access into the very heart and love of the Father. This is the great object of fellowship with God, that I may have more of God in my life, and that God may see Christ formed in me. Be silent before God and let Him bless you.

5. This Christ is a living Person. He loves you with a personal love, and He looks every day for the personal response of your love. Look into His face with trust, until His love really shines into your heart. Make His heart glad by telling Him that you love Him. He offers Himself to you as a personal Savior and keeps you from the power of sin. Don't ask, "can I be kept from sinning, if I keep close to Him?" but instead ask, "can I be kept from sinning, if He always keeps close to me?" and you see at once how safe it is to trust Him.

6. We have not only Christ's life in us as a power, and His presence with us as a person, but we have His likeness to be worked into us. He is to be formed in us, so that His form or figure, His likeness, can be seen in us. Bow before God until you get some sense of the greatness and blessedness of the work to be carried on by God in you this day. Say to God, "Father, here I am for you to give as much in me of Christ's likeness as I can receive." And wait to hear Him say, "My child, I give you as much of Christ as your heart is open to receive." The God who revealed Jesus in the flesh and perfected Him, will reveal Him in you and perfect you in Him. The Father loves the Son, and loves to work out Christ's image and likeness in us. Count on it that this blessed work will be done in you as you wait on your God, and hold fellowship with Him.

7. The likeness to Christ consists chiefly in two things: A.The likeness of His death and B.The likeness of His resurrection (Rom 6:5).

A. The death of Christ was the fulfillment of His humility and obedience, the entire giving up of His life to God. In Him, we are dead to sin. As we sink down in humility and dependence and entire surrender to God, the power of His death works in us, and we are made to conform to His death. 

B. And so we know Him in the power of His resurrection, in the victory over sin, and all the joy and power of the risen life. Therefore every morning, present yourselves to God as people who are alive from the dead. He will maintain the life He gave, and give to us the grace to live as risen ones.

8. All of this can only be in the power of the Holy Spirit, who dwells in you. Count on Him to glorify Christ in you. Count on Christ to increase the flow of His Spirit into you. As you wait before God to fully understand and realize His presence, remember that the Spirit is in you to bring to light the things of God. Seek in God's presence to have the anointing of the Spirit of Christ so that your whole life may truly, at every moment, be spiritual.

9. As you meditate on this wondrous salvation and seek full fellowship with the great and holy God, and wait on Him to reveal Christ in you, you will feel how important the giving up of all things is to receive Him. Look for the grace to know what it means to live as fully devoted to God as Christ did. Only the Holy Spirit Himself can teach you what completely yielding your whole life to God can mean. Wait on God to show you in this what you don't know. Let every approach to God, and every request for fellowship with Him be accompanied by a new, very definite, and complete surrender to Him to work in you.

10. As through all Scripture and all of our spiritual lives, let faith be the keynote. As you wait before God, let it be in a deep quiet faith in Him, the Invisible One, who is so near, so holy, so mighty, so loving. Remain in a deep, restful belief that all the blessings and powers of the heavenly life are around you, and in you. Just yield yourself in the faith of a perfect trust to the Ever Blessed Holy Trinity to work out all of God's purpose in you. Begin each day in fellowship with God, and God will be all in all to you.


~ Scott, Mark, and Andrew Murray ~

Negative Reinforcement and The Spiritual Battle

Would you like to look behind the scenes at the things going on in the spirit world when we struggle in the natural?  Part of the answer lies in understanding strategies the enemy uses against us and God’s plan and provision for our victory.  From a quick search on the web you can find a definition as follows:  “In behaviorism, negative reinforcement involves the removal of an unpleasant stimulus when a desired behavior occurs.”

Consider this:  the enemy wants you to give in to a temptation—say, going by the liquor store and picking up that 12 pack of beer. You do this even though you have been drinking too much and your spouse and friends have suggested your drinking is a problem.  You have told them you want to stop, but the following is going on behind the scenes.

The enemy knows, especially in the beginning of change, that a little misery can go a long way.  His fiery darts (Eph 6:16) which are primarily thoughts (Ps 64:04) come at me to cause misery, confusion, and doubt:

*Little arrows that bug you:  I deserve it, I need it, who do they think they are, not a big deal, just drink one, stop drinking later, this has been a hard day, week, month, cant make it without the beer, this is too much to take, won't be able to sleep, no relief, etc.

After a few rounds of arrows, I may drive by and give in to the temptation.  Or more likely I will say to myself:  “well, I will drive that direction but I won't go past the liquor store."  Then, "I will go past it but not in"; then give in, go in, buy my 12 pack, and get drunk.

At some point there will be some relief from the arrows and that is the point of reinforcement.  This is very important.  The Apostle Paul said “we are not ignorant of his schemes.” (2 Cor 2:11)  So let's not be ignorant that the enemy is very pleased to give us a little false peace and temporary relief from his onslaught so to ensnare us deeper into the stronghold.  As we recognize this scheme and resist, there will be a breakthrough at some point so that the momentum shifts and the stronghold changes.  God is calling us to break down those strongholds of defeat and build strongholds of victory.  "We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments." (2 Cor 10:4 NLT) 

How do we win the victory?:

1. Humble yourself.  This is mainly accepting and acknowledging that “I am one of those that is needy of God’s help and strength; to say yes to right and no to wrong.”  
2. Be aware this is the oldest trick in the book and there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9)
3. We are in the same fight as our brothers and sisters in Christ.  (1 Cor 10:13)  "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (NLT)
4. "Make no provision for the flesh" (Romans 13:14) This means I cut off or remove anything that might be hindering me say no.  I drive another route home.  I carpool with a friend to work. I dont bring the temptation into the house to begin with. I go to debit or credit card only so there is a paper trail, etc.  
5. I submit to God and resist the devil (James 4:7).  Here's a prayer to pray:“Lord Jesus, I am yours. I submit to what you want for me—sobriety and self control and loving you, my family and myself enough to take care of my body and soul. I resist the temptation to get drunk in Jesus name.”
6. Call a brother or sister in Christ.  "Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you might be healed" (James 5:16)
7. Perservere:  (James 1:2-4) "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

-Mark

Intimidation

Intimidation: to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear: "to intimidate a voter into staying away from the polls."

Today, we will consider the topic of intimidation. Intimidation is my attempt to create fear in another person to influence them or "bully" them. We have no right to intimidate others.

Dictionary.com goes even further to define intimidation as "filling someone with fear through the force of personality or the display of superior wealth or talent." If I am seeking to gain control in a situation by displaying an aggressive temperament or bragging about what I have then I am intimidating others around me. I am taking the first place. This is not, nor was it ever Christ's way. Christ sought to serve others and to be less. The book of Matthew is filled with teaching about servant-hood. Matthew 20:16 says that "the last will be first and the first will be last." If we intimidate others and "force" our way into the power position, we will certainly be last in God's kingdom. Matthew 23:11 even goes so far as to say "the greatest among you will be your servant." The disciples were human men jockeying for position in the kingdom and Christ spelled it out for them that they were to be servant leaders. Christ punctuates the comments with the simple fact that "those who humble themselves will be exalted" (Matthew 23:12). This flies in the face of intimidation. If I seek true power (from above), I will not intimidate, but instead be humble.

The other side of intimidation is that I am not called to be intimidated. I am called to be bold and filled with the Spirit of God and almost valiant in the confidence of the victory claimed in Christ. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." This is as true today it was when it was written in Deuteronomy 31:6.

Just to be clear, if I am happy about blessings that I have received or talents that I have been given and share that with others, that is not intimidation. The intimidation comes in when there is a subversive spirit that is attached to what I say. Declarations become bragging and I seek to take power in situations that I am placed in as opposed to allowing God to give me real authority. Intimidation seeks to dominate others through fear. God didn't create me to take part in any of that.

Here’s a prayer: “Father God, I repent for all of the times that I have intimidated others and sought to put myself first--that is not Your way. I renounce that intimidation and I come out of agreement with it. I thank You for Your forgiveness and Your cleansing me. Amen”

Here’s a declaration: “I renounce all intimidation that I have been under and I declare that I am not in agreement with intimidation. I am in agreement with my God who seeks to serve others and I stand in boldness on the "service of salvation" that Christ gave me on Calvary. You love me, You love others, and I will love others.”

-Scott

Understanding Anger and Jesus' Position on It (Part 2): 100% Man

Since we put forth evidence for the deity of Jesus Christ in our last post, lets look at the humanity of Jesus.

Many people, for many different reasons, see anger as sinful in every circumstance. I have heard, for example, people saying "we should be without offense as Christians." Does that mean that we shouldn’t get angry?

I believe that the clear teaching of scripture is that we are made in the image of God and we are to follow his example (see Eph 5:1). God gets angry at injustice and we should too. But the scripture says God is slow to anger (Joel 2:13, Neh 9:17, Ps 103:8, Na1:3) and commands us to be also (Jam 1:19, Mt 5:22). I think that we will see, from the following scriptures, that teaching or believing that we should not get angry leaves us in a dilemma.

The dilemma is this—either:

1. Jesus did not get angry, or

2. We are not supposed to follow Jesus’s example of life in every way.

I believe Jesus did get angry and I believe we are supposed to follow his example of living in every way. Christ wants us to be like him, hence the term Christ-ians (1 Cor 11:1 Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ; also see Eph 5:1, 1 John 2:6 He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked).

Here are passages clearly showing Jesus express anger:

Mathew 11:20-24 Then He began to rebuke the cities in which most of His mighty works had been done, because they did not repent: “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works which were done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, who are exalted to heaven, will be brought down to Hades; for if the mighty works which were done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I say to you that it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment than for you.”

Mathew 21:12-13 Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’”

Really Read Mathew 23:13-36, especially verse 33 where it says: “Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell?”

Do we really think that He delivered this without anger? Mark 3:5 says:

And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.

The Greek word for anger here is: g3709. ὀργή orgē; from 3713 ; properly, desire (as a reaching forth or excitement of the mind), i.e. (by analogy), violent passion (ire, or (justifiable) abhorrence); by implication punishment: — anger, indignation, vengeance, wrath. AV (36) - wrath 31, anger 3, vengeance 1, indignation 1; I.anger, the natural disposition, temper, character II.movement or agitation of the soul, impulse, desire, any violent emotion, but esp. anger III.anger, wrath, indignation IV.anger exhibited in punishment, hence used for punishment itself A.of punishments inflicted by magistrates.

The commentator, Finis Dakes, writes the following in regard to this verse: “[anger] According to some this would prove that Christ was not sanctified and that He had the "old man" in Him, but it only demonstrates that anger is not necessarily a manifestation of sin and Satan . Both God and man have it and will always have it (emphasis mine). Without it, man would not be capable of waging warfare against sin and Satan, so do not pray to be dehumanized and uncreated (emphasis mine), but pray to be able to control all faculties in the bounds of the law of God ( Gal. 5:22-23 ).

Mt 5:22 states "But I say unto you , That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment." James 1:19 says "Wherefore , my beloved brethren , let every man be swift to hear , slow to speak , slow to wrath." Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,"

When we interpret scripture with scripture we must come to this conclusion:

A. Anger is good because God is good and God gets angry.

B. We are to be slow to anger and control it like God does.

C. We are commanded to “not let the sun go down on our anger,” This means we forgive daily

D. It is part of our humanity and part of the way that God created us.

E. It is essential if we are to recognize and respond to injustice

So, to put a bow on this teaching, we are to see that through scripture and the life that Christ lived, anger itself is not sinful and to be devoid of it wouldn't even be Christ-like.

-Mark

Understanding Anger and Jesus' Position on It (Part 1): 100% God

When writing about the humanity of Jesus, perhaps we should start with a clear reminder that Jesus was fully God. That needs to be addressed first. In describing the way that people look at themselves and Jesus from the perspective of the New Age religions, Frank Peretti gives an excellent example. It is as follows:

In the New Age religions, people say “I am God,” “you are God.” But when a Christian tells them that Jesus is God, they say “Jesus never claimed to be God!”

OH YES HE DID. In Exodus, when God called Moses and began teaching him how to proceed with the deliverance of the Hebrew nation, he told Moses to tell them “I AM” sent you. Read EXODUS 3:14:

And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

When Jesus was debating the Pharisees and religious leaders in John 8, He spoke plainly with them, saying this:

Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad.” Then the Jews said to Him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?” Jesus said to them, “ Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.” Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.

Apparently, all of the previous religious discussion was tolerable, but when he spoke this, THEY WANTED HIM DEAD. He is clearly making himself out to be God here!

Other passages that clearly delineate the deity of Christ:

Hebrews 1:8 But to the Son He says:“Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.

John 1:1-14 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe. He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Col 1:15-17 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.

John 10:30-33 "I and My Father are one.” Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. Jesus answered them, “Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?” The Jews answered Him, saying, “For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God.”

We are taking all of this time to establish the deity of Jesus, because we will be looking to Him for our answer on anger and Humanity. Catch up with us next time!

-Mark

Manipulation

Manipulation: exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage; "his manipulation of his friends was scandalous".

Today, we will consider the topic of manipulation. Manipulation is my attempt to dominate another person. Except in cases of grave necessity, such as a young child, a helpless person, or extreme danger, I don’t have a right to dominate another person.

If I use the silent treatment to punish someone, I am using manipulation. If I put a “guilt trip” on someone, I’m using manipulation. If I attempt to twist emotions to get someone to do what I want them to do, I am manipulating them. Contrary to popular belief, God does not manipulate us. In Romans 2:4, we learn that it is his kindness that leads us to repentance. Love does not manipulate and therefore God does not manipulate, because God is love. (1 John 4:8)

The power of manipulation is in the agreement. If I “agree with it” by dishing out manipulation, I am putting myself into that stronghold. If I “agree with it” by being on the receiving end of manipulation, I am also putting myself in that stronghold. Of course, as a child, and in certain other situations, I may have no choice but to yield to manipulation outwardly. But commonly during it, and always at some time afterwards, I can repent and renounce being on either side of the manipulation.

Laying out rules and consequences is not manipulation. In the case of God teaching us right and wrong, every rule and every law is something that provides for us or protects us.
I can always ask the question, “does this provide for or protect that other person? Would I have others do to me what I am doing to this person?"

Here’s a prayer: “Father God, I repent for all the ways that I manipulated others in ways that are not love--they are not Your ways. I renounce that manipulation and I come out of agreement with it. I thank You for Your forgiveness and Your cleansing me. Amen”

Here’s a declaration: “I renounce all manipulation that I have been under and I declare that I am not in agreement with manipulation. I am in agreement with my God who does not manipulate. You love me, You love others, and I will love others.”

-Mark

Repentance

“In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying “‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand?’ For this is he who was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah saying:

The voice of the one crying in the wilderness:

Prepare the way of the Lord;

Make His path straight’.” Matthew 3: 1-3

Throughout the majority of my life, John the Baptist scared me. I was raised in a Baptist church and this message was daunting and alarming. I thought he was saying to me, “Hurry and change yourself because Jesus is coming and if you don’t; you’re going to be in big trouble, and He will leave you behind!” I believe this is where I began to hide myself in shame and guilt, picking up where Adam and Eve left off in the garden. Genesis 3:9-10 “Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him ‘Where are you?’ 10 So he said, ‘I heard Your voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked: and I hid myself’.”

For years I tried to change myself for Jesus. I told myself He would leave me. Funny how you know that God is omnipotent, but when you think about it deeply; you only think He knows the bad stuff. That is shame, and it is a shame.

Trying to change for the Lord and “REPENT!” never worked for me. I became a counselor. If I can’t change for God, I will help people change and keep God out of it. I started my counseling journey in addictions. It seemed that I was not breaking any addiction cycles for anyone. Cognitive-behavior modification can only go so far until you are stuck with someone’s core beliefs. If those core beliefs are not based on the truth of God, a cycle of lies will ultimately kill, steal, and destroy. Cycle defined: we sin, we feel horrible, we repent, and we feel more horrible, which leads to more sin. Matthew 12:44 says that 43 “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. 44 Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. 45 Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. “

Satan being satan, led me to lies that I was not good enough for “the kingdom at hand” because there was NO CHANGE GOING ON. Maybe I did not love Jesus enough? I wasn’t trying hard enough. I wasn’t serious about eternity. The big one: I loved sin more than I loved God! YIKES!

The good news was that God knew my heart. He knew I wanted to repent, I did want Jesus; and although at times I gave up on myself, God never gave up on me. And, NEVER WILL!

God placed a hunger in my heart. After years of knocking and asking, I was finally led into a world where He was the focus. I started to get to know Him, really get to know Him. At this time, I was not so much led to read the Bible daily or meditate on scripture. Every time I started there, I would become frustrated because I didn’t understand any of it. I would repent because I was so out of touch with His word. Days would go by and I would stare at my Bible as if it were this Mount Everest I had to climb. So I continued to pray about it. As I spent time in silence asking God to show Himself to me, I started to experience Him. I started to talk to Him. I placed myself in situations that made me vulnerable and where I needed to step out in faith. My plea changed from “I repent” “I confess”, “I’m not worthy of you Lord” to…… “You love me, and I need you”. “You made me perfect in Christ and I need to know more about that Lord”. “I am a daughter of God and righteous in Christ, and I need your help to find You here”. God showed me how much I longed for a good Father and Brother. He showed me that I NEEDED A LOVE THAT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!

When my King showed it to me (and I’m positive it’s just a molecule compared to what all He has for me), HE broke my heart wide open and HE wrote repent on my heart. My repentance was a huge billowing wave of deep sorrow and emptiness that I had been carrying to protect myself from any more shame and guilt. It was not the sin He showed me. We didn’t even talk about the sin!!! Well, at least the sin I thought it was that was keeping me from Him. For the first time in my life repentance was not SHAME or GUILT! I released it to Him. This time repentance was accepting and receiving all the love I could handle from Him at that time. He has SO MUCH MORE!!!!!! The true sorrow in my heart was ever-changed because I saw for the first time: His FORGIVNESS. I saw how much He can withstand of my misconceptions of Him. I saw Him cry with me that my will of not being hurt again kept me in bondage. I SAW MY FATHER LOVE ME and I SHOUTED I REPENT I REPENT! And I meant it throughout every hair on my head to the tips of my toes. My soul shook in my rib cage until I thought my heart was going to burst into flames! The love that flowed through me was like a current of power I still can’t describe. It was not punishment, it was GLORY!!!!! He wants to “Prepare the way of the Lord; Make His path straight” in our hearts”, and He is delighted to do so, not angry and resentful. He can’t be; He is LOVE.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29) take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30) For My yoke is easy and My burden is light”.

This is not meant for people that had already made their paths straight. This is for me. This is for my sin. This is for my darkness, my brokenness, my rebellion. This is for us all. Repentance cannot be fulfilled without the Lord. It is not something you must do before the Lord comes to you. It is not something you need to check off a list in order to be blessed. It is a true revelation of your Lord and King. It is “the voice of the one crying in the wilderness”. Repentance with Christ is what changes your heart and leaves you wanting more of Him.

~Keri Lawrence

1/2012

Triggers

Triggers: Let's define a trigger as anything that makes me more vulnerable to temptation.

Today we will talk about triggers that, in general, affect us all. I am not saying that falling into the temptation is inevitable. Quite the contrary. Being aware of triggers means to have an awareness of when I am more vulnerable so I can turn to God and others for help. In 2 Cor. 12:10 it says: "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
James 5:16 says: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

It can also help me support, encourage, and have compassion when someone I love is more vulnerable to temptation. Lets have a look.

HALT-BS.

H-Hungry: This could be a literal, physical hunger or it could be some kind of emotional hunger or need.

A-Anger: A reaction to a perceived injustice. Anger can also signal a "blocked goal." If I am angry, particularly an un-righteous anger, I am more vulnerable to temptation.

L-Lonely: This could be as simple as being alone, but I can feel lonely even when I am with others.

T-Tired: This can be physically tired, lack of sleep, or emotionally drained.

B-Bored: a person is more prone to giving into temptation when they are bored and when they have no particular direction they are headed. This is not to say that relaxing and rest are not important-they are. It's about having a balance and an awareness.

S-Stressed: the more stress I am under, the more I am vulnerable to temptation. Keep this in mind and don't ever get the illusion that you are Superman. It's true that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," but I have to remember that these are the "all things" that God has called me to do and has ordained for me to do.

When I'm aware of my weaknesses and my triggers, I'm aware of my humanity and my need for the Lord. The more I humble myself and own my weakness, the more I can lean into and join in with His strength.

~Mark